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Some daily problems may just come from being left handed!
The world's first and biggest Left handed ShopThe Lefty Lament Song
For our Left-Handers Day celebrations a few years ago, singer/songwriter and long standing Club member Ian Radburn offered to compose a light-hearted song, which he could perform at our live events. The result, in the style of a folk song, was absolutely brilliant and had us all singing along with the chorus. It has often been broadcast on TV and radio shows. We are delighted to bring his song to you, and also put the amusing and poignant lyrics down for posterity. Our sincere thanks to Ian, and we hope you enjoy it.
See the bottom of this page to hear Ian performing the song himself.
Left-Handers Lament by Ian Radburn
Now here's the story of my life,
I've had fun but lots of strife,
For I was born left-handed, but I'm proud
To be one of the elite, right-handers we can beat
We're the 10% that stand out from the crowd!
But as a little lad, oh the problems that I had
Winding clockwork toys was just a mystery
Tying laces was a pain, couldn't get it in my brain
Everything was back-to-front it seemed to me
Chorus
We're the Cack-Handed Kings, we're the LEFTIES
You right-handers just haven't got a clue
'Cos if you'd been through what we've been through
Then maybe you would feel superior too!
At 5 I started school where I was treated like a fool
Being left-handed I stood out from the pack
And learning how to write was not a struggle - more a fight
For I had my left hand tied behind my back
"Now get it in your head" the sympathetic teacher said
"You use the right and not the Devil's side"
Those supposed men of vision caused me pain and such derision
Is it any wonder often times I cried?
We're the Gibble Fisted Friends, we're the LEFTIES (repeat chorus)
Time then came when my voice dropped
And my face was one big spot
But I was glad to see my teenage years arrive,
Because I use my left, I was different from the rest
And the girls saw me as something of a prize!
I learned some handy tricks in the back row of the flicks
It used to drive my girlfriends all berserk
For their eyes would keep apace of my right hand - just in case
And they never saw my left one go to work!
We're the Southpawed Princes, we're the LEFTIES (repeat chorus)
Well I'm married now, worst luck
But my wife has given up
Asking me to help with chores like peeling spuds,
Or trying to cut the bread, I'll get a 4 x 2" wedge
Lose three fingertips and half a pint of blood
I would love to be a dad, but we've hit a little snag
If you can help please tell us what to do
The problem simply said, is that I'm a left-hand thread
But my wife you see, now she's a right-hand .....OH, YES WE'RE THE
Scrummy-Handed Heroes, we're the LEFTIES (repeat chorus)
Now we reach today, where you stand and watch me play
And yes, I play right-handed it is true
For the very simple fact is that I've had to adapt
Something all we southpaws have to try and do
We have trouble tying ties, writing cheques out, using knives
and scissors made for use in your right hand
And when it comes to sport once again we are left short
In hockey and in polo we are banned
We're the Cuddy Wifter Winners, we're the LEFTIES (repeat chorus)
Now I've finished off my song and as you move along
Please bear in mind the things I've had to say
And please show some respect for your friends who use the left
Thanks for listening to me this Left-Handers Day.
Copyright: Ian Radburn, 2004
Hear Ian perform the song
If you would like to hear Ian singing the song himself, playing acoustic guitar accompaniment, you can use the links below to open the audio file:
Windows media format (283 Kb) 8kBit/s 11kHz mono
You can also open a file with the instrumental version only, so you can sing along!
Instrumental Windows media format (230 Kb) 8kBit/s 11kHz mono
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7th April 2008 - 7:50pm
RIGHT HANDERS ARE HOTT!
kevin is gay
RIGHT HANDERS ARE HOTT!
left handers are gay like kevin!
10th March 2008 - 7:09am
i recently nearly starved to death till i discovered left handed tin openers woop woop
26th February 2008 - 11:59pm
dude this is crazy guy sucks at sining but i think we can change it
30th January 2008 - 11:28pm
Adventures in Motherhood-Feeding
Happy New Year! It started quickly with baby teething on New Year’s Eve. He has two bottom teeth now and he has started to eat baby food. So far so good.
The End.
RIGHT! Besides feeling the effects of not sleeping for 6 months and counting, I humbly found out, that baby doesn’t need to learn how to feed as much as I need to learn
HOW TO FEED HIM.
The forever student in me had no problem researching the lasted baby food studies and how to perfectly heat the food and set the environment so the baby will get the most beneficial experience. I was ready for this new and wonderful time in Motherhood. Many of my MOMMY friends say feeding was one of their favorite moments of their baby’s lifetime.
With sterilized spoon and bowl in hand; food in its individually sterile containers; Baby sitting , Mommy opens the container, mixes it, tastes it, its edible. Ready Set Go!
Baby brilliantly opens his mouth wide and takes in the food. Da Dah!!
The perfect moment.
Second spoon, Mommy misses, again, oops that’s his nose; oh that’s his ear; oops the neck, OH NO! not the Hair. Wait, mommy can’t see what she is doing. Why are you turning that why; its this way. Why is mommy getting most of the food in her hands and shirt?
FREEZE
What’s wrong here? I’m not spooning right, it needs to be away from me not towards me. I’m not doing anything right. I’m on the wrong side of his mouth; the wrong side to feed him. What’s wrong with me?
Oh that’s right, I’m left handed. I know that in a few more practices I’ll get the hand of feeding the baby but I will still be left handed.
I realized then, to my horror, MY CHILD HAS A LEFT-HANDED MOTHER.
I’ve overcome and I am proud of being left-handed. I like the crowd I’m in, but for a second I went into my darkside-As MotherME, if baby is right handed, I could be confusing or at least frustrating the child, as I have done to many other people with my left-handedness.
And then again, if he turns out to be left-handed, like mommy, he will automatically suffer in many small ways, because it is a right-handed world.
My woes on living in a Right Handed World will be passed down to him if I am not careful and find a positive way out.
Best way to change is to educate. Here are my daily struggles to adjust.
For me, it’s the simple things:
Opening a door is not easy, add a key and it’s virtually impossible. If I had a penny for each time a date thought I was fidgeting for a kiss but really I just couldn’t open the door.
Eating next to someone who is not left handed can be hazardous. I usually sit at the end of the table to not bump anyone and to get a chance to eat.
Handwriting is a torture test and even the letters are somewhat right-handed friendly. It was the 70’s (I hope the school system changed) but my teachers would just put us left handers together to just practice as they would help the righties hand over hand to perfect penmanship. A while back, on my computer, I had my mouse left handed. (yes it can be done) but it was hard of anyone else to use my computer and I needed to adjust to every other computer after that. So I stopped.
Setting a table. I never remember if I’m doing it right or if I’m seeing it the left-handed way.
Counting money. The bills are face opposite way. I used to be a bookkeeper in national chain supermarket and the manager always knew when I worked the night before. He joked about it all the time.
These are just the everyday little things I deal with. Now add carrying, bathing, changing, and FEEDING baby to my list.
To concluded, Left-Handed people do things differently, not on purpose but Naturally.
Here is a list of a few famous Left handers I found in ‘ANYTHING LEFT HANDED WEBSITE which I am a member.. www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk
Bush, George (dad) I think Son too-not sure MacLaine, Shirley Barrymore, Drew Mozart, Wolfgang Amedeus
Clinton, Bill McNichol, Kristy Basinger, Kim Plant, Robert
Ford, Gerald Meara, Anne Burnett, Carol Porter, Cole)
Garfield, James A Moore, Demi Drescher, Fran Schumann, Robert
Hoover, Herbert Olsen, Mary-Kate Dunaway, Faye Seal,
Jefferson, Thomas Olsen, Ashley Garbo, Greta (Dcd) Simon, Carly
Kennedy, John F. O'Neil, Tatum Garland, Judy (Dcd) Simon, Paul
Reagan, Ronald Parker, Sarah Jesscia Goldberg, Whoopi Starr, Ringo
Truman, Harry S. Roberts, Julia Hawn, Goldie Sting,
Rogers, Ginger Ireland, Kathy Stipe, Michael
Allen, Tim Thompson, Emma Jackson, Kate
Henson, Jim ( Tormei, Marisa Jolie, Angelina
Jennings, Peter Vaccaro, Brenda Kidman, Nicole
Leno, Jay Winfrey, Oprah Leoni, Tia
Letterman, David
the Frog, Kermit
Williams, Montel
30th January 2008 - 1:08pm
I'm so glad my daughter didn't have to right with her right hand. I remember all too well the critics about my penmanship.
18th January 2008 - 12:39pm
great song. wish I had heard it a long time ago. I copied the words to show my firends just hard it is for a lefthander in this society.
23rd November 2007 - 9:25am
GET OUT!
11th November 2007 - 1:34pm
Hi everybody!
My name is Abramo, I'm 14 and I'm from Italy! I'm left handed :) I love this song!!! I'd like to get the chords :) Can you write the chords for us? Please!!!
Bye
Abramo, from Viareggio ;)
1st November 2007 - 7:06am
When I am in school I always make bad grades. I am guesing it is because of my OCD and ADD. But even with that I still do not see why I struggle so much in school. I have to freinds that are lefties and thay make all A's. Is making all A's a tendency in lefties?
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